A week from today I’ll be celebrating my 30th birthday! I’ve learned quite a bit (some lessons harder than others) and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I thought it would be fun to share some of what I have learned before I turn 30.

ONE

Learning to love my body was a longtime struggle. Growing up and not having a single curve on my body was devastating. But I had to unlearn all of the negative opinions that came from people I knew and from myself. Now I have a love and appreciation from my height to my itty bitties and my tiny curves that have finally decided to slowly come in. LOL

TWO

Getting a hold of my finances and being in control. I no longer wanted to be about that life of drowning in debt. This was a VERY stressful time in my life and I am so glad I overcame this burden by getting organized and facing my debt head on.

THREE

Hair is FUN! Changing your hair can be such a fun experiment. When you want to freshen up your look, I feel one of the best ways is changing your hair. When I cut off all my hair, I felt like a new woman. I felt empowered. Especially since we were taught from birth that girls have long hair and boys have short hair. To my surprise, I felt beautiful after cutting off my hair. It felt good to let go of something I felt like I was holding onto for so long. I’m thankful for all the other women who chose to chop off their hair at one point. Guess what? It grows back too, thankfully. Highlights were fun too...

FOUR

I learned SO much from each retail job I had. Each job taught me how to deal with different personalities. Especially the difficult ones. Whether it’s a customer, coworker or manager, some people just like to come in with a bad attitude and want you to feel as badly as they do. I had to learn to not get on their level and to also appreciate the gems that respected me while I was working. Working at a bank was probably the MOST frustrating because you're dealing with other people's money. But my mum told me that some customers didn’t want to listen to understand but to listen to argue.

FIVE

There is always something to learn from each situation - no matter how big or small the lesson. A manager from one of my previous jobs made everyday a living hell. She treated me poorly no matter how hard I worked. In the end, instead of being bitter about the whole situation, I realized her treatment towards me made me feel awful and I knew that I did not want to treat other people the way she treated me.

SIX

I voted for the first Black President of the United States of America, twice. I never thought I’d see that day. I learned that you do not have to be white to be the President of the United States. Believe me when I say that when I was a kid I thought you had to be white and male, because that’s all I saw in textbooks. Now I’m just patiently waiting for a woman to be President.

SEVEN

Learning to take time with my growth and progress. I can go at my own pace and stop comparing myself to others, knowing that where I currently am is where I am supposed to be.

EIGHT

Learning to love myself. I have come a long way with self love, thanks to my mum.

NINE

Everything happens for a reason. I’m glad certain things didn’t work out the way I thought they should. I’m also happy that some things did work out the way I anticipated.

TEN

Self-deprecating jokes. I love to laugh at myself and try not to take myself so seriously. My favorite is when I accidentally say things like Leep Jiberty (Jeep Liberty) or chilly snarter (chilly starter). 

ELEVEN

I’m a good listener. Sometimes people just want someone to listen to them. Not necessarily to get my opinion or to be critiqued but to simply be heard.

TWELVE

Self care is key. This can range from taking care of my skin by doing a face scrub and mask, working out or taking a mental break. No more burn out. I quit my part-time job of 2 years this year. During this time I worked 7 days a week every week, unless I took a day off, which was very rare. After I quit my job I had to remind myself to stop feeling guilty when I am choosing to do what I know is best for me.

THIRTEEN

Racism isn’t dead. I’ve always known this to be true, but due to recent events of police brutality the world now knows it too. Whether some choose to ignore it or pretend it still doesn’t exist, people still experience racism. It took one pandemic (COVID-19) for everyone else to finally pay attention and acknowledge the 400 year old pandemic my people have been suffering from through inequality and injustice. I’m glad to learn that more people are outraged and want to see change than I previously thought.

FOURTEEN

I LOVE french bread and croissants! My whole life I’ve been eating french bread and croissants, until I went to Paris and ate.french.bread.and.croissants. Of course they taste much better in Paris.

FIFTEEN

Starting over at square one is okay. A couple of years ago I decided to start a career in a field I had no experience in. I struggled at first but kept working towards my end goal of switching careers.

SIXTEEN

Stand up for myself. I was that kid who cried whenever I would get into a disagreement with another kid at school. My mind would just instantly jumble up with all the emotions bubbling up into tears. But over the years I learned to stay calm and listen so I can gather my thoughts on what I’m about to say. I’ve also learned to not worry when I forgot to say something in the heat of the moment because sometimes less is more.

SEVENTEEN

Getting over the fact that I majored in Journalism, but did not get the “dream” job I went to school for. It took me a LONG time to get over this one. Nothing seemed to line up “perfectly” for me like it seemed to for my other classmates. There was this constant reminder of people asking me why I am working at a bank or in retail if I went to University for Journalism. Along the way I realized that many people majored in one field and ended up working in a totally different field from their major. There was still this expectation of “as soon as you graduate, you are going to get the job you majored in for 4 years (or more).” But I can say that I love the path I have taken even though I couldn’t see the good in it while I was living it in real time. I stopped feeling like a failure.

EIGHTEEN

I feel so much better when I consistently workout. I was always active growing up, but now if I don’t keep up with my exercising then I feel like I’m wasting away and lack any ounce of energy. I’ve also found that I’m obsessed with the matching workout clothes and they definitely help motivate me to workout. (I still love you, old high school track and field shirts)

NINETEEN

I love waterfalls. Waterfalls are just so beautifully mesmerizing and they draw you in with all their majestic qualities. It wasn’t until I saw a waterfall in person that I learned just how magnificent they are and to see the continuous rushing water cascading down is truly a joy. It’s so rewarding to make the long hike and end up at the hidden waterfall. I’ve been to a few here in Georgia, including Amicalola Falls, Tallulah Falls and of course the ultimate waterfall - Dunns River Falls in Jamaica.

TWENTY

I’ve stopped thinking and caring about what other people think of me because it’s none of my business. Say it louder for my younger self.

TWENTY-ONE

Trust the Universe and let it work its magic. I’ve come a long way with letting go and trusting the Universe. It’s not easy but a daily reminder.

TWENTY-TWO

Expressing myself through writing works wonders. Whether I am writing for my blog or writing a poem, a song or simply journaling, it is very therapeutic. Writing helps me get my thoughts out of my head and on paper so I can stop overthinking all the time. Sometimes easier said than done.

TWENTY-THREE

Admitting when I am wrong and then apologizing. Being honest is easier and it feels good.

TWENTY-FOUR

Acne has been a long time struggle for me. In the last few years my acne has calmed down significantly. I’ll have just one or two breakouts instead of all over my face. Unfortunately, acne has left a lot of hyperpigmentation scarring on my cheeks. As a result, I’ve been heavily reliant on makeup to cover up all of my blemishes. I’m slowly letting go of the grip of feeling like I have to wear foundation every single day and let my skin breathe.

TWENTY-FIVE

Being bullied or made fun of has taught me how to deal with grown up bullies. I’ve seen so many different versions that I’ve even been able to predict how the person is going to react or behave in a situation they want to take control of.

TWENTY-SIX

Single, Solo, Party of Uno. My previous blog post is linked :) When Emma Watson coined the term “self-partnered,” I felt that and I love that she spoke about it because it reminds me that we’re not so different and we all go through similar things in life.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Living during COVID-19 in real time. I’ve learned a lot about myself during quarantine. I’ve truly learned gratitude. This experience has been very humbling. I feel like oftentimes myself and others will try to find the smallest bad thing out of a situation. I reminded myself that I get to be stuck at home, literally in the comfort and safety of my home with my family. I also feel as though this was the break we all needed from the constant hustle and bustle and stress of everyday life. But I am well aware that there are others struggling.

TWENTY-EIGHT

When people tell me or show me who they are, I believe them. I’ve always been the one to “see the good in people.” But honestly, that has gotten me burned too many times. This goes along with trusting my gut instinct.

TWENTY-NINE

I always want to be a student. I try to stay current with as much news as possible so that I am aware of what is going on in the world. I love watching documentaries and reading books. There is always something that will pique my interest and there is always something new to learn.

THIRTY

No one is a mind reader. I never really spoke up much when I wanted something. Whether it was in a friendship, relationship, at a job or any other situation. I’ve learned to speak up more and let go of the thought that I am undeserving.

Thanks for reading!

xo Dani